This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
