hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
