In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
