she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
