Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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