so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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