i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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