I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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