Non-Jews are for practice
Barsexuality is the new black.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
