I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
