oh god the rape fog is back!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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