New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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