Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
