What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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