Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and she was petting her beer can
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
There are leaves in my underwear?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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