I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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