so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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