yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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