Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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