So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
