I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
