none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
