Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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