weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
