I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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