If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
