I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
