We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
