We're facebook friends in real life
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
