Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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