I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
