there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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