so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
