I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
