The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
