Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
