if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
