Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
