Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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