Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
