I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My vagina just recognized that song.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
