if you like me you must not know who I am
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
