Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
