he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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