lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize