Moan for me like Helen Keller
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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