walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize