I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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