When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
