this boner is exhausting
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
