if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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