That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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