Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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