I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
