we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
