When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize