My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
