ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
