Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How does one acquire holy water?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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