dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance