Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.