Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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