I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.