Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
