To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
