so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
